#337
A test of faith.
Came back home during reading week to study and prepare for finals, really felt very peaceful and happy with good food and comfortable setting for my notes, along with my kindle and tv entertainment shows when I am tired.
Too comfortable? At the moment when I realized I missed a final exam paper, I was more shocked than anything. So, when I finally returned home and let everything sink in, well, it's been so long since I last cried :/
Telling my parents... was brave? At least, you'll know, there's someone there for you at the end of the day, really, unconditionally.
There are really many people who are really concerned and suggested ways to help me, but, I really cannot bring myself to do it against my heart, I rather pick myself up from the mistake than ever make this an incident that will prick my conscience for the rest of my life.
It's my fault, really. It feels very bad missing an exam, because whatever you have studied are not unloaded, and yet you have to shoulder this emotional stress, plus greater pressure for the next upcoming exam, which is after this weekend. And, while waiting for the module coordinator to maybe reply with a email to confirm and see how things go.
I am deeply scared inside. But my fear does not suppress my conscience and whatever I hope to uphold. And, it's really a test of how much faith I have in my past papers and the one to come. There's still hope I know, and I just wish that I can have the strength, to run this last mile regardless. And pray, that I can survive through this obstacle posed to me in my life. It will be far to weak, for me to collapse at this moment, and I'm not even sure if calmness and faith in me is lasting, but at least now, it is. So, I will keep ongoing, at least until the end of the next paper.
I really learnt a lot from this mistake though, not just the importance of reading timetables and stuff, but my attitude in university in general. I will, give all my best to salvage and get my mindset and attitude right, once and for all. I know I can.
原来最深的打击 没有过多的泪水点缀 没有嘶吼的沦陷
我只能要紧牙关 不要辜负所有人给予的信念和慰问
就这样走下去 为了我的决定 走下去
为了我的不苟 走下去 为了我重生的机会 走下去
我不怕辛苦 只愿这次的难关 过得去
我会用心 我会努力
真的
或许有挫折是好的