journal
Monday, April 30, 2012, 8:50 am
#326
The real challenge only starts now.
I admit I'm weak enough to allow my heart to take over my mind for all those sleepless nights/ tiring walks/ irritating heat/ sore throat/ and also, 哽咽.
Everytime I find myself hoping for more, I will always try to ask myself whether I deserve everything instead... or how much more do I want to want? Sometime it's really so hard to 知足 I have to fight all those urges to think the extreme. I feel emotionally drained sometimes.
Not sure if everything's fate, or just how I want to see it?
It feels like sec3 all over again. Thought it is even year already...?
But, I'm supposed to mature since then so I will deal with life better this year!
Life is draining because I oscillate between states of stability! Listening to jaychou is seriously therapeutic. How can life get any sadder than the songs?
So, this month has been fun though! Eating steamboat in school for yanchun's birthday and celebrating Sheena's tomorrow! (ah why may comes so fast)
And happy things! I was searching for Endless Love score when I found all my other scores for concert and I took out my nails to play on guzheng again! And I saw the script that I wrote for announcement and browsed through the concert booklet that I made and the emcee chinese script! So many so many so many memories! I still think our syf song is the best piece I ever played!
I want to go back to that time when US trip is just two days after my concert on saturday~
That intensive week of practice really clear my mind so so much.
I need a clearer mind, or maybe I just need to walk more. Walking to-and-fro IMM immediately heal my breaking heart :( HAHA.
If only somethings matter lesser, and my faith weaker.
有时候抓得太紧 弄伤了自己
都不知道自己凭着什么勇气
还是赶上了末班车
车上好拥挤啊! 就把我遗忘在某个角落
等到有一天 我有更大的勇气选择下车
或是你也跟随在身后
可不可以 换你走在我背后?
你的一滴泪是泉源
我的泉源也不过是一滴泪
Haha 人生就是如此不公平!
懂我再爱我 on loop since 1030! Haha sian I took so long to post this!
However hard this gonna be, May will be a great month! :) At least one more month to holidays yay!