journal
Thursday, May 30, 2013, 9:50 pm
#333
And believing make me feel that I have not been so brave for such a long time.
If there's something that time takes away for sure, it may not be pain, but definitely courage. If we do have courage, then we would not commend ourselves to be courageous or try to convince one to be brave because it would be something inherent that you would not even realize subconsciously. Nonetheless, at least we are still aware of such a thing right? Better than losing it all together and separate it from your life forever.
Been back from taiwan! So awesome. Been there really make me feel so calm and peaceful for that one week, even in the city area, can always feel that here's somewhere peaceful and pretty and quiet to go to, or even to spend time alone. I have this strong feeling that I want to retire in taiwan next time... or like some asia country? Singapore don't exactly feel like an ideal retirement city hmm. Maybe I'm quite greedy, I want a 5day peaceful countryside life and 2day city life each week haha. Best of both worlds.
My eyelid has been twitching all day so far and it's getting quite irritating... like I cannot read or watch anything for too long, this super uneasy feeling D<
Anyway, took so many photos that are photoshop-worthy. But, being too lazy, still do not have the kick to start on a lot... so far only one haha. Shall at least finish the batch of photos before uni starts.
"自己想要的那种比赛"
I really wonder if someone can really 看破输赢 and really just care about the process. Previously, I really think it's just self consolation and forcing oneself to not take some success or defeat too heavily. But, when your truly believe in someone or something, the outcome really doesn't matter. The results only matter to the world and everyone else who is needs to rely on statistics to understand someone, but it definitely does not apply to people who believed in them themselves. What a revelation.
我依靠着一个陌生人的人生而自我反省
或许荒唐 或许玄虚 但是有错吗?
我在别人的人生看到希望 所以选择相信
然后当你的期盼真的化为现实 那种感动 我也不会形容
就是一种孤注一掷的幻想 就是没有痕迹的勇敢
就是没有根据的信任 不要问我为什么相信
难道要我说 我在恰巧的时间点上 选择了精神寄托
其实还是弄不懂 感情的寄托到底是有益身心
还是只会让人的贪婪而逃避燃烧为击毁
但是我感受的是 这份寄托让我可以在谷底时闭上眼睛看到星光
让我重复练习着勇敢和执着
人生不就是这样吗 不断寻找寄托
直到有一天 精神的寄托是自己
然后敞开心胸 成为他人的寄托
我找不到你在我生命里实在的存在
却在我心里种下了一种相遇的期待
:)
Time past so fast! June holidays already! :O