journal
Monday, May 31, 2010, 7:15 am
#310I'll wait forever and a day.
Things have been happening so fast that I'm not even sure what I was doing every single day, so many details to take care of, and facing the break downs, fixing everyone up, and enjoying that last minute on stage, facing the crowd and loud applause, the truth is I can't even remember what went through my mind.
I never thought I could survive this period in one piece. Academic stress, even though I screwed up some tests, but I only have myself to blame because of the lack of preparation. It got so numb, trying to stuff as much information my eyes could capture into my brains, then constantly worrying about people's birthday and concert stuff. I realized my heart and mind is not so big afterall to take care of everything I'm supposed to, or rather those which I forced myself into.
I really didn't mean to ___ the day before concert. Never really understand the feeling of "screwed up" until the rehearsal that day when all you hear is rubbish noise floating in the auditorium air, making you starting to wonder whether you are even fit to be there. Then you hear disappointed screams everywhere, awkward silences. It was so horrible, then you see people who was always so strong break down right before 60plus pairs of eyes, and another strong one who is so brave to walk up and cry with her. Before I even know it, my eyes got misty. And, when you turn around, you see everyone's the same.
Maybe its actually the precious water generated that day which made everyone more focused and created the miracle. I'm so thankful that the miracle all of us hoped for actually did materialize! At least, I did not leave behind any regrets. And I really could not play on broken string.
谢谢大家施舍的爱与关怀,我会学会感激.
已经很久没有感觉到欣慰的眼泪的流动.
我在美国已留下那么多泪水的痕迹,
不会哭了,只会珍惜能依赖在你肩膀的时光.
泪水与盐都是咸的,若在伤口上哭泣,会不会也很痛?
Good question right.
P.s. Sony headphones infinite source of contentment!
mischellaneous
archives
Aftermath
Finally did up another blogskin after (really) almost 4 years.
And this skin alone takes me months since I began working on it.
Conceptualize/ get inspiration to format to consolidate to simplify to coding to trial and error to specific styles...
It's such a long process that it even makes me wonder am I getting too old for doing all these things?
Looking back, I used to make skins like one per day in secondary one to per week or month in secondary two/ three.
Then, somehow, all my design interest or passion goes into fan-art or icons/ banners based.
I guess I have this inherent mentality that any layout based design will drain me out, and it still does.
Then again, it may not be that I'm getting too old for this, but instead
I've raised my expectations? Too perfectionist in other words.
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Anyhow, I'm very satisfied I guess!
The only pure long holidays I would have and I did not let it to go to waste!
With the years to come, I really don't think I would have the time and peaceful mind to revisit and revamp the whole layout design once more.
So, something to take with me to university and eventually work life next time :)
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有时候回忆很可怕,它让你看到你的曾经所以对未来有梦
只愿在慌乱之中,留下这一片虚拟的记忆和画面的潇洒
这一路的赞赏和欣慰,永远不会忘
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