journal
Friday, April 30, 2010, 6:31 am
#309False boundaries.
Are those boundaries really non-existent or am I just weaving another excuse to support my mindset and attitude again? I'm not even sure what's holding me back and affecting my emotions so much, like I could feel all those energy and passion draining out from me a little each day, which is bad for a period now.
It's dejavu, all those terrible nightmares have been haunting me again, now I'm scared to sleep because I know I could not control all those dreams and everything feels so real that I could not help wondering whether it might turn into a reality. Insecurities, lead to even more nightmares.
I prayed for a miracle but it did not materialize, maybe its the confusion of thoughts which triggered all those ___ in me, but I guess after staring at the rain in quadrangle, I feel better because the rain could cover up for all my weaknesses. Thank you.
Spent loads of time re-living memories, and feeling so contented that everything almost felt so precious and close to my heart suddenly. But I gave so much out, yet I'm not sure whether my input would generate anything. Why is is that our heart yearn for a reply for every questions! What about the beauty of questions left unanswered, and words better left unsaid!
401 started countdown to US, and excitement is definitely building up. BUT, why can't I feel it. I'm now constantly reminded that concert's (n-2) days away! I'll pray damn hard for a miracle on 15th May. It will happen right. Miracles wouldn't disappoint me twice.
忽冷忽热,我怕我太过悲伤于冷酷中;我害怕我太兴奋于热烈中.
两者之间的平衡点我始终很难琢磨.
我喜欢南中的下雨天:
它提醒我的心跳声,
它告诉我它的悲情,
它酝酿着朴实纯真,
它覆盖了我的伤痕.
谢谢很多,抱歉也不少.
如果那天你看到我哭,不要问我为什么.
我想你不会想要知道我所害怕给的答案.
P.s. Nice present for yanchun! ;D (sheena, jaslyn and I really very cool!) (upload photo next time if I remember)
mischellaneous
archives
Aftermath
Finally did up another blogskin after (really) almost 4 years.
And this skin alone takes me months since I began working on it.
Conceptualize/ get inspiration to format to consolidate to simplify to coding to trial and error to specific styles...
It's such a long process that it even makes me wonder am I getting too old for doing all these things?
Looking back, I used to make skins like one per day in secondary one to per week or month in secondary two/ three.
Then, somehow, all my design interest or passion goes into fan-art or icons/ banners based.
I guess I have this inherent mentality that any layout based design will drain me out, and it still does.
Then again, it may not be that I'm getting too old for this, but instead
I've raised my expectations? Too perfectionist in other words.
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Anyhow, I'm very satisfied I guess!
The only pure long holidays I would have and I did not let it to go to waste!
With the years to come, I really don't think I would have the time and peaceful mind to revisit and revamp the whole layout design once more.
So, something to take with me to university and eventually work life next time :)
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有时候回忆很可怕,它让你看到你的曾经所以对未来有梦
只愿在慌乱之中,留下这一片虚拟的记忆和画面的潇洒
这一路的赞赏和欣慰,永远不会忘
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