journal
Saturday, February 26, 2011, 6:26 am
319Inevitable.
I finally spotted the "traffic" section under one of the alien-looking tabs in my blogger account and clicked on it. What's the use of me finding that function now when my traffic is approaching the y=0 asymptote, or maybe it is already a continuous x-intercept (at 0 haha) already. Irony totally. Maybe this is going to replace my LJ as a public private journal. (Talk about irony AGAIN!) Haha life is so confusing sometimes.
POP was very high, athena is really full of crazy (in a good way?) people this year! Haha and actually all faculty dances are nice. Ah but the post-emptiness is slightly disturbing.
I really thought I was adapting well to changes last week. I truly tried very hard to talk to people and stay awake/ pay attention during both lectures and tutorials. But I have no idea what happened the past week! Or is it me :S I feel like sleeping/ tired all the time and I don't know what to talk to people except "very tired". Then when I'm having second thoughts about everything, my brain and ears start to work more than my mouth and I'll just keep quiet and listen. Or even 陪笑 to some extent. But who can 赔笑 - 赔偿我的笑容?
I hope this explains my anticipation, my tears on campfire night. Maybe I'm more mentally tired than physically.
Why like that? I just need a bit more faith to even jump across 163cm, to jump across all these distances. I just need to be less influenced to even listen to those songs and feel like ... ...
我以为懂得感觉是一种天分, 却忘了它也是我的缺陷
我以为懂得放感情是一种努力, 却忘了那依赖的阻碍
我有很多以为, 我是真的以为不只有我很累,
真的以为, 你也跟我一样在挣扎
I feel oddly alone in school now, I can see familiar faces everywhere but they are actually no longer that familiar anymore. I feel bad and weird when I plan to talk just a bit longer with any friend because all of them have new classmates and friends they will stick to.
I don't feel like forcing myself to fit anymore, if not I will end up as screwed up as sec1, I don't want. I really miss 401 life, when we're like special. Even though not the smartest, but doesn't the special portion sort of bond everyone together?
And actually, I miss NY raining days. But still, I kind of like rainy days.
Should we go back and see the juniors? Haha if we do I hope it rains on that day :)
Haha and writing to huihong. NY days really feel so 天真 suddenly. JC changes people so much suddenly I hope I won't be unable recognize myself anymore.
这么重感情, 所以感情这么重
等到有一天, 时间一定会给我一个答案
全世界只有我疲惫;
我的世界将被摧毁, 也需颓废 真的是 另一种美
ZhouJieLun :(
On a happier note, luozhixiang looks cool and cute in the icon haha :)